Gut Check

After a 14 hour day, I'm back in the coziness of mine and Brady's room, about to skip dinner, get some quality journaling in, and of course, let you all know what we're up to in Asia.

Today was a mixture of emotions that I have never quite felt before.

I saw the TAJ MAHAL today... I SAW THE TAJ MAHAL TODAY! Something that I once never thought possible, I was able to see my second wonder of the world, and to be quite honest, I can't really explain it. The pure magnificence of the entire complex was something that can only be seen, there is no way to put it into words. I, of course, brought my THON shirt to throw the diamonds up wherever possible. Much India very PR.

After we begrudgingly left the amazing place, we ate lunch at a delicious restaurant not too far away. We then ventured to a huge, intricately designed fort where we took even more pictures of the sights.

These two visits were the cause of excitement and bewilderment as I spent the fifth day of this adventure in Agra.

However, I'm feeling greatly conflicted about everything that happened today. While traveling to and from the sights, I witnessed a different side of India.

I mentally prepared myself for a massive culture shock before I hopped on the plane across the world, but the last few days haven't hit me as hard as I thought they would. Today, that all changed. The surrounding areas of Agra were filled with busy streets, with people absolutely everywhere. Sounds similar to what I've been seeing recently, but trust me, it wasn't. These people had little to nothing in possession and were not living in adequate conditions. I sound so vague, but I'm honestly having a really hard time comprehending it all right now.

This conflicted feeling was coupled with the uncomfortable feeling from being gawked at all day. Yes, we have been getting a lot of curious stares the last few days, which is totally fine. We definitely stick out here, so I don't blame people for trying to see what we're all about. But when people throw their children near us for pictures and make faces when they see us walking by, that's when my level of content withers away. Don't get me wrong, that is a part of this experience; I have been thrown into a culture that is vastly different than my own and I wouldn't want to be going about this entire thing any other way, but I definitely missed the feeling of protection from my friends from SRCC while walking around today.

While I was frustrated about the stares and the pictures, that is something that I can deal with. It's definitely not ideal, but I can control how I let that affect me. Seeing extreme poverty firsthand, however, that's really eating away at me. I guess I'm just having difficulty truly understanding why I have so many amazing opportunities to go to school, live a very comfortable lifestyle, and see the world while others rarely have the chance to get a full meal.

I was so excited from my viewing of the Taj Mahal, but tears filled my eyes on the bus ride home as the images of these people kept running through my mind. It's been a hard day. It's definitely something that I will remember for the rest of my life. I'm becoming more and more invested into this culture, which is somewhat scary because of all of the contrasting things I have experienced in just five days. My gut is feeling all sorts of twisted about the two completely different sides of India that I saw today, I'm trying to sort it all out.

This adventure is changing the way I view the world.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Peace and blessings,
Kirst