I'm Movin' On.

Haha, get it?

Welcome back.

Here we are friends, a day away from graduation. I thought that it was only fitting that I put one more post up on this thing to mark the end of my undergrad career, since this blog has seen at least a part of me for the last four years.

The general consensus around here right now is that what they say is true: your college years fly by, FAST. My roommates and I are all in this nostalgic whirlwind of trying to have maybe just one too many at Phyrst Happy Hour, fit in all the things we wanted to in this valley, take the 97th grad pic and say our good-byes to everything we've known for the last four years.

I feel like I run to the blog whenever something significant happens in my life, and to be honest, this time isn't much different. The last few weeks have been filled with a COMPLETE thesis, studying for finals, plenty of emotions and trying to figure out what's coming in the next few months.

This time last week, I was setting up for one of the largest student-run music festivals in the country. For those of you that don't know, over the course of this year, I have served as the Director of Sponsorship for Movin' On alongside 10 of the most incredible and driven human beings I have ever met.

Most of you know that before our headliner was scheduled to begin his set, we had to cancel the end of the show due to severe weather. As we were told the news, a million things ran through our minds. A year's worth of work, how were we going to continue to lead our teams, what about our emotions? But what was so beautiful about hearing some of the worst news was that in that moment, we became a family. We stood in our huddle, staring at each other with tears running down our faces, knowing it was time to put on our game faces and handle the situation in the way that our festival deserved. We continued to lead our organization in the best way we knew how: together.

While the rest of the night was incredibly tough in balancing emotions, exhaustion and disappointment, I couldn't help but look around and be thankful. A group of students built and executed a HUGE festival for their peers, all because they wanted to share their love of music with the Penn State community. Despite it not ending the way we had planned, the way in which we stepped up in a time when others wouldn't have is something I will be forever proud of.

So, as you can probably tell, I've spent a lot of time thinking about the last week... instead of studying for my finals. It's for sure going to take awhile to find some closure on the last year of my life flipped upside down within a span of 30 minutes last Friday night, but if I can put anything into words on a page, it's this:

Penn State gave me this experience for a reason. Movin' On was by far my favorite chapter of my college experience, but like every good thing, it comes at a time when you need it most and it ends in the same fashion, even if you don't understand it at the time.

Over the last four years, Penn State challenged me to grow up, to handle #adulting, to know when to step up and lead, and importantly, to lead by example. It hasn't always been easy. There's been quite a few downs to every up on this rollercoaster of a college experience, but in the end, all of this has made me who I am today.

Penn State put people in my life when I needed them most: people that never left my side during a setback and people that celebrated every comeback. People that volunteered to ugly cry with a bottle of Moscato over a boy and people that stayed up all night with me in the library to finish my 381749 ECON assignments. People that made me feel loved and supported, even when I wasn't feeling my best.

So, yes, I'm now tearing up as I give my final sign-off from undergrad (I'm sure you're shocked).

When I think of Penn State, I'll remember the lessons I learned when things didn't go as planned, how I chose to grow up when the easier option would have been to give up, and the love (and laughs) from relationships that mean the world to me.

And honestly, thank God I learned how to use my fighting words properly, because I'll definitely need those in law school.

To my pals from the last four years (and especially SLB), thank you for shaping my path at this University. For showing me the way, for making me laugh beyond belief, for never failing to put a smile on my face.

To ITA, thank you for making my last THON the best I've ever had. For showing me the true meaning of caring for others, for holding my hand through an amazing and meaningful adventure.

To the Movin' On 2018 Exec Board, thank you for being the family I needed. For picking me up last April after one of the hardest times in my life, for being the most resilient people I have ever met, for walking this journey with me.

To 1004, thank you for being the most supportive best friends I could ever ask for. For being my sisters through all the ups and all the downs, for never questioning feelings, for always being there for a snug on the big red couch or a night out on the town, for being my backbone, my rocks, through absolutely everything. I would not be standing here today without you. #RushPhiPughPugh

Thank you to the people that turned into family, to the four years that turned into the best of my life, to the zip code that became a home.

Thank you, Penn State. I'm Movin' On.

Holy guac, I'm graduating,
Kirst

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Here we are, friends. Finals week -- the five days that we all love to hate.

Regardless of what's on the academic doc for the next few days, it's about that time where the good-byes start to be said, a few tears are probably falling and the overwhelmed feeling is starting to set in.

While I'm not graduating, this end of the school year has got me all up in the feels. A lot of my friends are soon leaving Penn State and as I'm preparing for a summer in Philly, I'm nostalgic about the end of this semester. I've been reading all those articles about "the things I learned in college," the "how I became me" lists and the "read this going into your senior year" articles and while incredibly cheesy, here's another note to join that crew.

We define ourselves by a lot of things: what we do, what we care about, who we spend our time with, et cetera et cetera. I've been thinking a lot about this lately because my heart strings are being pulled as yet another year is ending and I'm uneasy about what's to come. One thing that I've realized we don't really have control over that is probably the most definitive part of our lives is home.

Home is different for all of us and I don't really think that it is always a place. For me, home is with the people I love most, all of the laughs and all of the tears (mostly tears) and the feeling of having a reason. We become our home just as it becomes us, but when I think of home, I think of what Penn State has given me.

To all that go here, there are simply no words to describe the connection felt by each person in this community. It doesn't matter what street you walk down, what you decide to study or how you decide to present yourself, Staters are always there for each other at the end of the day. I think that this is what makes this place so powerful in molding who we are as people: there is this ability of Penn State to transform into anything you need it to be. I feel like myself when I'm in the 16801 because of the people I love, the places I frequent and my day to day life that I lead here.

But sometimes, you have to step away from home to appreciate it in the way that it deserves. The last few weeks leading up to finals have been an emotional rollercoaster: highs and lows academically, socially, mentally, you name it. Referencing my last post, it's all about embracing the ride, but just because you embrace something and are willing to take it on doesn't always make it easier to go through.

As someone that has been tearing up for weeks because of this year ending, leaving my friends for the summer, re-living all of the good and bad memories and trying to become the best version of myself, I've somehow had a feeling of lull in my connection to this home. Not in a negative way necessarily, but in the sense that I need to step away to appreciate it more.

This year has been incredibly definitive in my life. The Year Of Why Nots has proven to change me for the better, but it's time to continue that in a new place so that I can embrace next Fall for all that it will give me. So when I was given the opportunity to be in a new zip code for a few months, I jumped at the opportunity. I know that my friends that are graduating probably want to slap me for saying this, but I'm ready to leave this place for now. I'm ready to explore a new area, take on a new chapter and be the person that Penn State has built me up to be.

Whether you're leaving for the summer or leaving to become an adult, sometimes following the feeling of needing to get away can provide clarity. Right now is the time to be nostalgic for all we've been through, but tomorrow (or next week) is the time for new adventure, new ambitions and for defining a new piece of home. This place deserves to be loved for all that it is, and after all -- distance makes the heart grow fonder, right?

Catch me in the HUB all week,
Kirst

The Year of Why Nots, Not What Ifs

Hello, it's me. The girl that used to write about her life all of the time.

It's been a long week and after over a year of not blogging, I decided that maybe this will make it a little better -- and I'm hoping to get back to being a regular (something I said a year ago, I know, but I actually mean it this time).

To go through junior year would be a doozy and honestly, probably not the best way to spend your day. As a catch up on all that's been happening, it's been the year of why nots.

For those that I spend the majority of my time with, you've heard me spew this phrase over and over again: this is the year of why nots, not what ifs. And to be honest, taking each day with this thought process has changed everything.

This time last year, I sat behind this screen and I wasn't in the best place. I was going through the motions of school and work, living nap to nap and really just wondering where I was going next, and not being okay with it. A summer at State living on my own gave me the time to realize that I didn't want to be like that anymore. I wanted to take in every day, embrace each challenge and remember what it was like to truly value the time in Happy Valley.

Hence came this cliché of the year of why nots.

If you go for the why not instead of the what if, you have no regrets, something that I seemed to have a lot of at the end of my sophomore year. You take more risks, you stop thinking about every little thing that could happen and just DO something, you become yourself again.

But always choosing the why not instead of the what if doesn't necessarily lead to happiness. This perspective involves putting yourself out there to be vulnerable, telling people how you really feel, going out on a limb, being ambitious in trying to make some sort of impact in this world and sometimes, just accepting the fact that things are out of your control. Not letting others affect your happiness, but simply contribute to it and just being okay with the fact that some things happen beyond anything you can do.

With just about a month left of my third year at State (holy guac, when did I get old?), I can say that the why not is much better than the what if. I spontaneously flew to Colorado for three days, took on new positions on campus, spent New Year's Eve in Australia with my best galpal, danced on probably too many elevated surfaces and went with my gut in each moment. On the flip side, I may have dropped my laptop, just squeaked through 304, not landed the internship, not gotten a chance or two and feel lost because there is no set plan for the next 12 months of my life, but here I am, still standing. Life hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows and there's been plenty of ugly cries, but I didn't go through the motions this time around; as someone that doesn't believe in bad timing, each setback has led to a better comeback and I think that is what is important here. This whole adventure is better when I put myself out there, go after my goals and embrace not being afraid to fail. I haven't once bet against myself, and that's a lesson I'll take right to the bank.

So jumping back to this week, it sure hasn't been easy, but what has gotten me through mentally is being proud of myself for not letting it become a what if. It's been a lot of mental juggling of feelings, exams, relationships and so on, but I would not change a thing. The last few days have proven to me that being yourself is worth it and I am surrounded by people that help me remember that when I seem to have forgotten. Not only have I been allowed to cry, eat lots of ice cream and vegetate, I've been reminded again and again that this year of why nots isn't about everything working out the way I had hoped.

It's about letting myself feel, asking for help when I need it, and holding on to the hope that there may not always be a clear why, but things will happen the way they are supposed to. There's never a reason to not love, support and believe in yourself and the people around you each and every day.. even when you feel that you or they don't deserve it. Because, why not?

Here's to tomorrow,
Kirst

I'm Back -- For Now

Here's the thing -- I know it's been awhile. I know I said back in October that I was trying to keep up with blogging, but here I am, MARCH FIRST, writing for the first time since then.

While blogging is still my favorite hobby and definitely helped me keep my sanity for a long period of time, it fell on the back-burner last semester and never really made it back to the top of the priority list.

There's quite a bit to catch up on here. I don't even really know where to start...

Let's go with the six THON Athletic Marketing events that I worked on throughout the year. THAT WAS FUN. Then there was working 20 hours a week in the basketball office, which has given me wicked awesome opportunities (S/O front row at Madison Square Garden), taking 18 credits (note to self: say no to 3 ECON classes at once), and trying to just embrace every moment and take everything day by day. Sounds cheesy, I know, but when I was averaging three hours of sleep a night back in October and November, that's what I had to tell myself in order to keep going.

Last semester flew by with everything that happened with school, work, and my beloved THON involvement. After five finals, two projects, a term paper, and my first speeding ticket in December, I was ready for some Netflix and sleep in good ol' Erie before a lovely gals' trip to San Francisco to visit Molly with Larz. Going into all of the details from our California adventure would take quite a bit of time, but just know that I got to see the Full House house, have a date with an octopus at the aquarium, hug a redwood tree, and walk around Google's campus in Mountain View with my best friends. IT WAS REALLY FUN.

When I got back to State in January, the craziness started right where it left off. With six weeks until THON, there was a lot that needed to be done. I kept track of time through THON events, from our PR Retreat weekend where we all loved one another to the Road To THON Celebration, where all of the THON Volunteers gathered for a fancy dinner at the three-week countdown mark.

Oh yeah, I also turned 20 -- how weird. I'm officially not a teenager anymore. Wowza.

Then I blinked and THON Weekend was upon us. I moved into the BJC with my Co-Captains on the lovely Friday morning a few weeks ago for the best 46 hours of my life. You've heard me go on and on about how incredible THON is, and here I am again. There is no true way to describe the magic that occurs during the weekend. Mama and Coach Rei were able to visit the event floor for a little while, so I was really happy that they could experience what I am so passionate about instead of them just listening to me ramble on.

I'm still out of tears from all of the THON Weekend happenings and I still hug my Co-Captains every chance I get because they stood by my side throughout the most challenging and rewarding year of my life. I'm thankful for them and all of their hard work. More importantly, I'm thankful that we're $9.7 million closer to a cure, FTK.

I could definitely say more about THON, but that will have to come later because as per usual, I'm still processing everything that happened during the weekend of running up and down committee member stairs and though the HOS hallway and into the locker room.

Alongside the craziness of Penn State came another basketball season in the Reilly household. I have to admit that this past season was pretty hard, being that things never seemed to swoosh our way and it's pretty difficult to watch the people that you care about struggle. The Gannon Basketball family never gave up on one another, however, and I've truly never been prouder to be a part of this loving group.

Sophomore year has been a whirlwind to say the least. I went from drinking 6 cups of coffee a day to only 2 cups a week (for the sake of my health and my meal points). I've accomplished a lot of what I set out to do, but I'm really looking forward to everything to come. I'm getting ready for future THON endeavors, preparing for internships in *California* next summer (FINGERS CROSSED), and laying the groundwork for a research project in India in the near future. Oh, and I'm having a lot of fun, too, just in case you were wondering. I might stretch myself a little thin every now and again, but I'm definitely taking advantage of everything Penn State has to offer. I'm living the dream in Happy Valley, folks.

I'm not sure when the next post will come, but I'm hoping I can get back to a solid schedule. As of today, my mind is solely focusing on Spring Break. I won't be going anywhere tropical, but I'll be heading to Toronto with MCash, so I'm sure we'll have our fair share of fun...

This post was pretty random, but at this point, that's what I've got.

For now, I'm back to writing and getting enough sleep. We'll see how long this lasts...

Toronto for Spring Break, Eh?,
Kirst

THON HOCKEY IS ON SUNDAY AND YOU SHOULD COME

Here's another post after two weeks on the run; I'll get around to getting back into the blogging routine at some point before the end of the semester... maybe.

Two weeks have flown by, but boy, there was a lot going on. Last time you heard about me surviving a week of three exams and meetings and homework and football. This time around, I've gone home for a wonderful weekend of relaxation with the fam, Homecoming week, Parade committee shenanigans, a long ECON exam, more time on the football field, front row at Beaver Stadium, and a visit from LARZ.

You all know how much I love Penn State and how I would never in a million years miss a home football game. Well, I really needed a weekend in good ol' Erie, PA (yes, I admitted it). While it rained a lot and it was pretty cold, it was really nice to kick back and relax at home and see the bros. Mark the count up to 7 days at home since July 5th...

I got back to Penn State and was greeted with a week of absolute craziness: Homecoming. It was incredibly fun, but I had a lot on my plate from working various shifts at the different carnivals and events and helping to set-up and run the largest Homecoming parade in the country! It was really rewarding to see all of our hard work pay off as all of the floats went by. It was a cool experience that I am thankful for.

The craziness continued from Parade day to Game day. I made an appearance on ESPN in the front row of Nittanyville (S/O to GA for the spot!) and took in the gorgeous weather as I hung out with the basketball team on the field beforehand. I could not think of a better day for football, and the win against the Hoosiers made it even better. After the game came a night of interesting adventures with my favorite group of penguins AKA Co-Captains. The PR team is definitely getting closer and closer.

On top of Homecoming festivities, LARZ was here for the weekend. Having the squad back together was both super fun and super shambly, and it's safe to say that we have some great stories. (S/O to Jack for trying to catch me as I face-planted and S/O to LARZ for superman diving onto the couch). Just your typical weekend.

This week has included waaaaay too much time at HUB Penguin (PR's official meeting space), quite a few hours at the basketball office, and a dreaded COMM 320H exam. Some fantastic parts of this week included GETTING OUR CAPTAIN QUARTERZIPS (this may not seem like a big deal, but it was one of the highlights of my week), spreading the word about #THockey on the radio, and a successful promo day for THON Hockey. My PR Co-Captains joined me dancing, giving away free stuff, and attacking people with giant polaroid frames to let the student body know that they need to come support THON and the Women's Hockey team this Sunday. I'm so excited to see all of the planning turn into an amazing event!

All I have to say at this point is TGIF, I can't wait for 75-minute Zumba with LIVE DRUMS tomorrow afternoon, and THON HOCKEY on Sunday. It's going to be a great weekend.

I promise I'm timely with everything else in my life,
Kirst

Pulling 19-Hour Days Like A Pro

While blogging is my favorite hobby, it's been pretty hard to find a bit of time around here to sit a relay all that is going on. In the midst of all of this craziness, I really need to pick a time each week that no matter what, is set aside for blogging.

ANYWHO...

So back to two weeks ago, starting with September 13th (ugh, wow, time is going by too fast). The week was jam-packed with lots of homework, dinner with friends, work, THON meetings and committee application drop-off, and my friends and I decided to live at Nittanyville for the week! For those of you that have no clue of what I am talking about, Nittanyville is the tent-camp set up outside of Gate A at Beaver Stadium. By participating you are guaranteed the best seats in the student section. Being that this was the annual week-long camp-out (they're usually only 3 nights) for the showdown against Rutgers, the long-nights sleeping on cement was more than necessary. 20 of my friends hung out for a week, jammed out to some tunes, ate some free pizza, and painted some big signs to be featured on the sidelines. What a week.

Gameday was incredible. I got to see my parents before going through the student gate, which I was super excited about. As campers at Nittanyville, we entered the stadium over 3 hours before game time. While this may seem boring, we started a section-wide game of charades, so it wasn't all that bad. In addition to our awesome seats, the stadium Stripe-Out that was perfectly executed made for an insane atmosphere. Blue and White filled Beaver Stadium to watch the Nittany Lions trample the Scarlet Knights. While I was sleep-deprived, I loved every single second of it.

After the game, I was able to catch up with my parents over foooood and I stayed the night with them in the hotel. It was so nice to have the fam in Happy Valley, even though it was only for a short while. Sunday was quite busy with saying good-byes to Coach and Mama Rei, THON Captain Mat Cleaning (we got down and dirty to help OPP out with scrubbing the mats for the floor of the BJC), a run-through of the Homecoming Parade, and a few hours worth of coding homework. While it was crazy, it was an awesome weekend.

Last week was also pretty busy (I'm sure you're surprised) between three exams, interviewing future PRCMs and preparing for another football weekend. Having five home games in a row is definitely a wild ride for all Penn State students, and the lack of recovery during the weeks is causing everyone to look pretty zombie-esque. But hey, we Staters are all about our football, so we're dealing with it.

I got to go on the field with the Men's Basketball squad before the game; being able to be up close to all of the players during warm-ups is such a cool experience. MY JOB ROCKS. I magically found my friends after leaving the field, so I was able to hang out with them during the game and watch the Nittany Lions win yet another game before some post-game tailgating.

The night consisted of some PR Captain bonding over Pitch Perfect 2 and lots of laughs. If you haven't seen the sequel to one of the greatest movies of all time, I highly recommend it.

TTYL I'M SURVIVING.

All my meal points going to coffee,
Kirst

I Slept for 14 Hours on Saturday/Sunday

AH! Another week, another whirlwind of things going every which way. At this point, I can barely remember where my last post left off, so bear with me here, people.

SO! What I can recall without looking back is that I had just returned from a fabulous weekend with the Kennedy clan and I was getting ready to go meet the rest of the Public Relations family for THON 2016! Monday night was super exciting as the 25 PR Captains gathered on Old Main lawn with our Director to meet one another, learn about our positions, and discover our theme for the year... PRomise to Dream. I'm in love.

Tuesday was a day full of classes and work that led up to our first meeting as an official Captain committee. The potluck theme sent me home with a tummy full of cookies and pokey stix, so no complaints there.

Wednesday was probably the craziest day I have ever had at State. Class from 8AM-Noon, work from 1PM-5PM, cycling class from 5:45PM-6:30PM (my behind was mad at me the next day...), India seminar from 7PM-9PM, practice for All-Captain Orientation from 9PM-11:00PM, then I finally was able to eat lunch around 11:30PM. When I say lunch, I actually mean it... I didn't have time to think that day, let alone eat. All was well once I hit up late-night at good ol' Redifer, though.

Thursday included the usual class and work schedule, with an added visit to a potential place of living for next year. Becoming a real person and moving off campus is both exciting and stressful, but that's a whole different topic within itself. The night ended amazingly with All-Captain orientation, where I wore an incredible bucket hat to meet and greet all of the THON 2016 Captains, danced around ridiculously, performed various skits and musical numbers, and did the line dance! The energy in the room was absolutely contagious and I loved every minute I spent in Heritage Hall that night.

Friday came with major peace and blessings as I journeyed downtown for a shopping date with some friends (don't kill me, Mom) and some dinner before heading out for a night of fun. It was so great to have some time to relax and not be on a set schedule.

Saturday came super early but all was well because I WAS READY FOR SOME PENN STATE FOOTBALL! I headed to Beaver Stadium in the dreary rain to work in the recruiting lounge before kick-off. I helped check in the football recruits before assisting all of the basketball recruits with check-in. I also got to accompany them onto the field before the game, which was probably one of my coolest moments as a Penn Stater. I am in love with my job.

While it literally down poured during the entire game and I felt like I was caught up in an Indian monsoon, there was no way I was leaving the game early and missing the Alma Mater. A select group of us made it to watch the Nittany Lions secure their victory over the Buffalo Bulls, sing the Alma Mater, and take some soaked pictures before heading back to our homes for a warm shower and dry clothes.

We got back around 4 in the afternoon, agreeing on a dinner time two hours later. When I was all cozy in my room, I decided to take a nap before dinner. I definitely was not aware of how tired I was. I fell asleep at 5PM and woke up extremely confused in a really dark room. It turned out to be 3:40AM, not dinner time. I didn't really know what year it was or what I was doing, but I watched some TV before falling back asleep. I'm still a little bitter about missing Saturday night festivities, but I guess my body needed the rest. My parents were super confused when I talked to them in the morning, being that I had no idea that I talked to them on the phone the night before. College, kids, it'll make you exhausted, that's for sure.

I felt like a new person on Sunday after my Atherton hibernation and I was ready for the week. I was pretty productive with a brunch date, getting all of my laundry done, writing my weekly report, and getting all of my homework done. I was pretty happy with my efforts.

Yesterday and today have been the start to yet another eventful week. Tack on the usual classes, work, and meetings, in addition to participating in Nittanyville, a week-long camp-out at Beaver Stadium to get the best seats in the house for this weekend's battle against Rutgers. While I had to sleep on concrete last night, being in the front rows of Saturday night's Stripe-Out will be AWESOME.

Okay, time for bed...LOLZ jk. Time for some more work and I should probably start studying for the three exams that I have next week.

Am I alive? Yes. Am I getting enough sleep? No. Is iced coffee running through my veins? Probably. Am I getting everything done? Yes. Am I having a great time in Happy Valley? Most definitely.

Talked to some of my Indian friends today and it made my heart smile,
Kirst